gratitude via loss
Trigger warning: This newsletter discusses a conversation with someone after loosing their child. Please be mindful if you continue to read the words below.
Three weeks ago I had an exceptionally difficult conversation. One that I only feel ready to write about now.
My partner and I took our two daughters to their first celebration of life, for their second cousin, just shy of two years old.
Amidst the heavy sorrow as we listened to all of her favourite Emma Wiggle songs, I knew I would eventually need to have my turn to give my love and support to the parents in person too.
And I will admit something I am not super proud of. I was avoiding them. Knowing that when our paths crossed at the wake, I would just burst into tears yet again. I felt selfish. "Did they really need to see another person crying to them about their own incredible loss? Did I just not want to see them because I just couldn't handle the conversation? What would they say? What does anyone say?"
The father, vibrant human being who is always the life of all of our family gatherings, found me instead, and I found myself in a conversation I have been thinking about every day since.
He spoke of the pain of losing his daughter, how he never imagined it would be him in this situation. And yet, amidst the darkness of the unexpected, he spoke of something else –
He spoke of love – of the overwhelming outpouring of support. He spoke of how he has never felt closer to his partner.
He spoke of moments of connection and closeness that he had never experienced before, moments that illuminated a parents biggest fear, and reminded him that he was never alone.
He talked about how he now notices strangers, just living their lives, like he is, and wonders what they are going through too.
In this conversation, I was reminded of the incredible resilience of our human spirit – the way we can find our way out of the darkest hole we can fathom, if we are willing to open up to those around us that have always loved us.
I remember hearing once, maybe from one of Eckhart Tolle's talks, that the path to enlightenment often leads through suffering – that it's through our darkest moments that we find the strength to grieve, to heal, and then to grow.
I think about this a lot as I hear the stories of so many walks of life as they pass through our doors at the studio.
Lets continue to share stories. Even the heart-breaking ones. Even the ones we don't want to hear ourselves.
Thankyou for giving us the opportunity to type these words on the screen. The funny, the beautiful, and the heavy.
If you yourself are experiencing your own grief and need someone to talk to, know you can call Griefline on 1300 845 745.
If you just need to just be with others, know you can always visit us at either studio too. If money is the issue, let us know so we can make sure that is no longer the case.
Annika xx
P.S We have four workshops to also raise money for The Haven next month. Safety Within May 17th, Floating Sound Healing 28th May and Yoga Healing 31st of May (with Dani, whom is pictured above giving me a big old hug!).
P.P.S We have TWO spots left for Yoga Teacher Training which begins on Sunday May the 5th 2024. Teacher Training goes for ten months and is an exceptional way to find and keep community. If you have been thinking about it, reply to this email or give me a call or text on 0405223212 and I am happy to answer any of your questions.
